House Rules

This post was written for Josie's Writing Workshop at Sleep is for the Weak, inspired by Potty Mummy's own House Rules. Leave your own suggestion for a house rule in the comments box!



The management states that personal hygiene is not an optional extra; baths and teeth brushing WILL occur daily. Nappy changes more often.

The management will not tolerate changing the sofa covers more than once a week, no matter what you spill on it.

The management reserves the right to secretly move "lights out" forward by 30 minutes when she's JUST HAD ENOUGH.

The management reminds guests that under the chairs/sofa is not a secret hiding place for various bits of small toys.

The management will not tolerate the throwing of items other than balls. Especially at the TV.

The management strongly encourages bib-wearing at all mealtimes. Or just all times. Or you will be doing your own washing.

The management states for the record that the TV is a TV and not a Peppa Pig fest 24/7, for the sanity of other guests, channels may be occasionally changed, or turned off all together.

The management will take this opportunity to ask where the hell is the cordless phone? (Possibly under the sofa.)

The management offers a set menu, not a la carte, if you don't like it, you shall have to lump it. The throwing of food/cutlery/crockery etc. is not tolerated, see above.

The management offers a later breakfasting time on a weekend. Will she ever be taken up on her offer???

The management reserves the right to drink hot toddies with a splash of Southern Comfort in the place of cold/flu remedies, which are not breast-feeding friendly, from 4pm. No, you can't have any. Yes, she has EXACTLY THE SAME cold as you, she is just much braver.

The management reminds other staff members that while x-box is an optional extra for you, her showering and completing physio excerises is compulsory, and would appreciate you taking over sans the attitude. She's had enough of that *sigh* when she asks.

The managment states, yet again, that the following items are inedible; books, coins, parts of old cheerios under the sofa, the cat, her phone, shoes, pebbles, I could go on....

The management reserves the right to win the "I'm more tired than you" game, every time it is played with other staff members.

The management reserves the right to use the TV as a babysitter when you all insist on getting up at 3am so she can write this post half asleep instead of playing JCBs half asleep. Damn wintery mornings, fooling you.

The management begs and pleads that all staff members (including grandparents) enforce these rules.