Wilson is my next door neighbour....

I am a very excited mum-to-be. When I was just 5 weeks pregnant, I went to the shops and searched all over for a bump-on-board sign, and finally found one I liked, hoping not only to prevent maniacs from rear-ending me, but also to tell the world and his dog how very excited I am!

Arriving home from work on day last week, our neighbour was parking her car at the same time as me. I can't ever remember her name, isn't that terrible? We bought our house from HID's mum, and he's lived there since he was seven, so it's really terrible that he doesn't know her name, since I've only lived there a year! We have a few things in common with the neighbours, like they also bought their house from their parents. But it's not like they are round every weekend for drinks, we occasionally say hello and chat when we see each other.

So we both get out of our cars, and say hello, me desperate to put my feet up, not wanting much of a chat.

HER: "are you expecting?"

I think, paranoid, good lord, am I that fat already?! But confirm her suspicions.

HER: "I saw the sign in your car!"

Yesssss, it worked! The world and his dog does know! Then, out of the blue:

HER: "I'm due in two weeks!"

Erm, what?! I had no idea whatsoever she was pregnant!!!! I struggle to not let this confusion register on my face, and answer:

ME: "Wow, not long now for you then!"

And make my excuses and hurry inside to figure out how in the world I have failed to notice my own next door neighbour is with child. Imminently. Now I really do feel bad. Do I just walk around in my own little Grown bubble? Am I that self-obsessed? Then, as I explain to a bewildered HID that the neighbours are having a sprog in two weeks, it dawns on me. There is a shoulder-height fence between our two driveways, and I always speak to her over the fence! No wonder we never saw the bump! I don't feel as guilty now. All I have to do is find out her and her hubby's name for the congratulatory card.........

Grown.