Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Policies and Procedures. What about People?

Today, I went to see the consultant regarding my cesarean (and my ever worsening SPD). On Monday, whilst at hospital for SPD treatment, I double checked the correct place to go with the “helpful” receptionist, that gave the impression she had no idea that I'd booked the appointment (through her, I remembered her seeming useless at the time) and asking if it was “essential” that I saw that doctor. Or a doctor at all. I stressed that it was, that the doctor had requested the appointment herself. You can see where this is going, and it didn't bode well for my cesarean appointment.

Of course, said doctor was miraculously unavailable on the day, and the midwives were under the impression I was there for a clinic check up (which I'd been careful to attend to on the Monday,while I was already at the hospital). A different, younger, less experienced, male doctor was sourced.

I arrived in my wheelchair, having been washed and dressed by hubby that morning, in fairly huge amounts of pain. I knew the hospital's standard procedure was to do cesareans at 39 weeks. I had researched (online, books) and discussed with midwives and my physios. I was hoping to have an adult discussion about the possibility of a slightly earlier section. Even a few days would have been a relief. I am not sleeping, due to pain. I am struggling to sit upright. I cannot stand, wash, dress. Many people comment that I should be in hospital. I often cry in pain if someone accidentally touches my legs/feet. I turn 39 weeks on the Sunday. Obviously, planned cesareans are not performed at weekends. The midwife I saw on Monday assured me that I was in such a state, that to have the section in the 38th week, especially the Friday, would not be a problem if I asked. Well, apparently, it is. They refused point blank to do it before the 39th week, so the Monday it is. 39+1. Not even two days early.

At this point hubby visibly lost it and I started to cry (partly in pain from sitting upright in a wheelchair for so long while they buggered about finding a doctor). They offered to call “my” doctor and double check. The young guy is obviously just following procedures, and is not taking into account my individuality at all. My doctor could not be contacted, but she will let me know if any changes to the decision are made.

37 weeks is considered full term. I have been having braxton hicks for two days now. I don't want to have a baby rushed to special care, but I am very ill. Apparently, my health, welfare and general stress levels (and that of my poor mother, husband and son who are bearing the brunt of my care and illness) is completely irrelevant as long as they cover their asses so that I don't sue. Nice. I feel like a fucking incubator, not a person. I do care, so much, about the baby's health, that's why I stopped taking my medication a week before they advised I'd need to. And the baby's health is the ONLY thing getting me through the day. The thought of holding him or her, and it all being over. Being able to recover. I just cannot see how I will get from now to then. Every day, I wake up (after a maximum of 4 hours sleep) worse than when I went to bed. And every night, I go to bed feeling worse than I did that morning. Three weeks to go. It doesn't sound like a lot to a health person. But I can't see beyond my next dose of paracetamol, for all the bloody good it does. All I can hope is that the baby spontaneously decided to be tomorrow!

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At 8:27 pm , Blogger Slugs On The Refrigerator said...

ooh that is awful! poor you that you had to go through that and that they are being so insensitive.

At 8:42 pm , Blogger Lorraine said...

Its so horrible when they are not listening to you and fobbing you off, I really hope your own doctor is able to help and get things moving for you a bit quicker...take care..xx

At 3:34 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK now I feel like a right mardy winge bag for moaning about my late pregnancy issues. You poor thing, clearly every day is a serious pain filled challenge, I am shocked they won't do the c-section at 38+5, that is bonkers. I certainly wouldn't let up on this one, escalate and ask to see or speak with your consultant, if that’s easier given to get out the house sounds excruciating. Meeting baby will be all worth it, I am keeping everything crossed for you that he/she makes an early appearance one way or another – get that raspberry leaf tea consumed! Very best wishes you and your family, look forward to hearing of a safe arrival. Claire x

At 6:42 am , Blogger Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

I'm sorry. And I'll keep my fingers crossed that baby overrides the doctors and comes early for you.

At 8:38 pm , Blogger SandyCalico said...

I can't believe they're not being flexible when you're in so much pain. How insensitive.
Fingers crossed you get a human being next time and not a Dr Hospital Policy. xx

At 2:23 pm , Blogger amy said...

you poor thing it is awful when they can't see past their own procedures. I hope baby comes soon and you start to feel better, big hugs xxxx

At 5:26 pm , Blogger allgrownup said...

Thank you everyone, your comments mean so much when I'm feeling lousy. I'm sorry I havn't been able to read and comment on all your blogs too, struggling to sit upright, and no laptop at mum's. But I really appreciate your thoughts xx

At 9:30 am , Blogger Soph4Soph said...

Hiya, I am so sorry i'm only just reading this post and commenting, I can TOTALLY sympathise with you. I too know this pain and anguish.. I suffered with SPD too with my 4th baby (soph!)I also stopped my medication early, I was told if i took it after 30 weeks, My baby would be born addicted to them and would need special care to be weaned off them! (great thought huh!!)
I wanted (needed) a C section, the docs would only perform it if i reached 40 weeks (40 WEEKS... hey.. I had been in & out of Labour from 22 weeks) and was bed ridden from 5 months pregnant due to the pain of walking/standing/sitting. I live alone with my kids, So the 3 boys Had to be shipped to and from school in taxis everyday or with my mum/sisters walking them on their days off. I hardly ever saw my 'real' consultant too.. and it was so frustrating trying to talk through the pain and desperation for an earlier C-section date.. (as i said, was in & out of labour from 22 weeks, they were adament i was going to go full term!) and if i was to go into labour again (if i was more than 37 wks) they said they wanted me to Labour.. even tho I was unable to walk etc due to the SPD! I begged them that the pain would be too immense to cope with a natural birth, also I had (still have) fear of labour after giving birth to my 3rd son at 27 weeks and needing an emergancy C-section. I didn't want to be in labour, have a problem, and need an emergancy again.. as I couldnt cope (mentally) I wanted a planned, smooth sailing, calm Birth by C-section so i could enjoy the last baby i'd ever give birth to! When i was 39+5 weeks (thank god i'd made it this far!) my friend had sais she would look after all the boys, so I could have a night off before the big date. My mum was away visiting my big sister who was getting married! and all my other family were busy. So i welcomed this break for one night. I'd gone to my friends house to settle the boys in and OMGosh I started going into labour.. again! I made sure it wasn't going away and after about 4 hours.. I was still in Labour, The docs/hospital had said to go in.. and i said I was due to have a c-section and that i needed one as soon as i got there as I was scared of labour etc... they read my notes and saw... "ONLY GIVE C-section if she reaches DUE DATE" they said.. as its in your notes that you HAVE to labour if your before your planned sectoin, you have to give birth naturally.. I started screaming.. crying.. I was only 2 days away from "full term" i'd suffered pre-term labour, immense SPD pain, numerous hosp transfers, drugs.. and now.. at 2 days before my due date.. your saying I CANT HAVE MY C-Section!

Sorry.. I am waffling on here.. Long story short.. I got my C-section after hours of begging and crying and thank god i did, Soph was born weighing 10lb 6oz.. I know that if i had been made to labour, she def would have got stuck in my pelvis (my 1st son was only 8lb 13oz and he was Stuck in my pelvis for hours) and it would have been a HUGE trauma emergency ordeal.

STICK to your guns... Do NOT let them dictate to you about your body and needs!

I hope you have a super relaxing, controlled and enjoyable birth..
and i hope your SPD goes without too much pain after baby is born :-)

if you ever need to talk, please email me :-) xxxx

p.s. I hope you received your kinky bib ok, sorry for the delay in posting it xxxx

At 8:38 pm , Blogger allgrownup said...

Natalie: your story is heartbreaking! I was in tears just reading your comment. You'd think after 4 babies your opinion might count for something. I am almost GLAD of my 3rd degree tears securing my c-section, there is no way on HELL's EARTH I would have ever been able to give girth naturally in my current condition. I found the SPD on top of labour pain unbearable LAST time, and this time it's increased tenfold. Thank you for our kinky bib, it made my crappy day, I love it so much :-) it's gone in the nappy bag for "best".


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