The Joys of Pregnancy...

Before I start, I'd just like to say how excited I am about being a mum, and how longed for this baby is, and how very lucky I am to be pregnant at all, let alone with such a healthy baby. Now that's been said, I will go on to write a little about how much of a pain in the bum my pregnancy has been! It seems that my body is determined to have every symptom in the book. Or perhaps, as the psychologist in me would point out, I have subconsciously "adopted" ailments from doing far too much reading and research. Hmmmm.

Since before I took a test, I have been green with nausea literally every day (alright, some days it's not ALL day, but it is every day at some point) The books/midwives/doctors assure me this will have work off by week 12. Well, here I am in week 20, and although I am now able to consume more than toast and dry cereal, I still feel sick. My Nan has forbidden me from wearing black or standing against pale backgrounds as I look like a sheet most days.

That's not all folks! Literature/midwives/doctors tell me an unlucky minority of women experience cramps/stretching/period-type growing pains in their tummy due to the stretching of the womb. Being a vertically challenged person with what the midwife described as a "very good sized" uterus, I am of this minority, making it agony to walk more than a few steps. This is attributed to my body telling me to "slow down". How slow can you go?! So I am no longer able to work, and barely able to keep on top of the housework, I feel a right lazy cow. Thank god for Loose Women.... This problem even affected my 20 week scan, which was agony, as the sonographer had to press pretty firmly on my tender tum. I didn't enjoy it at all, in fact, I couldn't wait for it to be over!

Furthermore, shooting pains in my pelvis ring alarm bells for later pelvis problems, the books say to keep my legs together at all times if at all possible. Poor HID, as if I haven't gone off sex enough! But not this advice ensures walking up stairs takes approx 10 mins, same for getting in and out of a car. Handy for quick gettaways.....

The final of my joys of pregnancy checklist is copious nosebleeds. Now I have to be very wary about this as I have already ruined bedsheets and towels. This is apparently normal (!) though freaky. The other day I was washing my hair over the bath, with my eyes closed so I didn't get suds in them. So before I had even realised I was having a nosebleed, the bath was, well, a bloodbath, I was covered from head to toe in splatters, as was the entire bathroom. Needless to say, I was not much in the mood for cleaning.

I like to keep my friends updated on my little humorous woes, I am apparently the best contraceptive they have ever come across. One friend in particular said something quite funny: "God, this baby had better be cute!"

Grown.