Monday, June 15, 2009

Great Expectations on newborns

After reading Cave Mother's post about what society asks of tiny infants here, I decided I should get ahead of the game a little. Our new bundle is due in early September, and HID's company have a Christmas party every year mid-December, with an overnight stay in a hotel somewhere, different every year. The party is always great, but we don't always go as, before baby, we were often away on the weekend it was held, it's our wedding anniversary and my birthday (and now Boy's birthday) in December. We do want to attend this year, and have booked on accordingly, with sympathetic babysitters as it falls on our actual anniversary. I am, however, painstakingly aware that bump will be just 3 months old. We did leave Boy with the Grands overnight at a similar age,and he was up all night. Plus, we were not co-sleeping, (we intend to this time) and I was not breastfeeding at that stage (ditto). So, I have been brave, and gone against the grain, and what society deems acceptable to ask of tiny babies, and sent the following email to the lady organising the party (who I like very much and know quite well. She has three grown up children) :


Just a little query for you. We are really looking forward to this year's Christmas party, especially as it will be on our wedding anniversary! (Makes potential babysitters all the more co-operative). As you realise, new baby will be around 3 months old at that time. We do plan this time, as last time, to carry the baby round for most of the time in a sling. Newborns tend to sleep lots in the sling, Boy was always quite quiet and contented in his. I do not yet know what the new baby's temperament might be like: will we be unable to put baby down at all, ever, like Boy?? Or will baby be quite happy to sleep over at Nanna's at age 3 months (whether I'm still exclusively breastfeeding also plays a part in this conundrum). Do you think the venue would have a problem with me wearing the baby in a sling at the party? Like I said, it is unlikely to cry or make much noise at all. (It will probably enjoy all the music and sensations of dancing and chatter!) My argument to the venue would be that the child we are talking about is a newborn, and not one that is running around making a problem of itself. For the baby to stay overnight in the hotel would not present any issues for us in regards to facilities etc, as we plan to co-sleep (safely, of course), so we do not need any special equipment, it would just be whether you (and the venue) are happy to let us do that. (You may want to keep us away for guests that need a lie in! or consider seating us at a dining table on which the other guests have children & thus empathy! ha ha).

Of course, none of this will matter in the slightest if the baby is nothing like Boy, and you never know, it could be sleeping 12 hour nights by age 3 months! I just though I'd better check early, in case the baby is "high need" like Boy was (is?!), and needs us to bring him/her along. If this is not possible anyway, it would be a case of, I will come for a few hours, but not stay over, and HID will stay and I'll collect baby from my mums on my way home.

Hope this makes sense, if not, please get in touch and I'll try harder to explain!

Grown x

So what do you think, a reasonable request? If she agrees, will the venue? I'm seeing her later today at the company BBQ, I wonder if she will bring it up, and what she might say.

Furthermore,is it right to expect a new baby to be without mummy overnight? If it is, is it right for me? It seemed so last time, but I had PND, and it may have clouded my judgment somewhat....


At 6:07 pm , Blogger SandyCalico said...

Fingers crossed that the venue will give you the option of taking the baby, but like you say you won't know until the baby arrives what its personality will be. I'm sure you'll do what feels right at the time x

At 6:36 pm , Anonymous Laura McIntyre said...

Has she got back to you? I think its an interesting request and one i hope you get to do.
I do think even if a baby is not exclusively breastfed expecting them to spend the night away from there mum at 3 months can be a little to much .

Hope it all works out

At 8:30 pm , Blogger allgrownup said...

She didn't mention it at the BBQ! And I've had no reply email....I agree it is a bit much, don't really know what I was thinking last time.

At 1:03 pm , Blogger clareybabble said...

What was the outcome in the end?
Sorry the comment is a bit late, I'm well behind! x

At 7:33 pm , Blogger allgrownup said...

I got my answer: it was of course "no". So hubby and I may be spending our anniversary apart :-( with me at home caring for 2 under 2's. Great eh?


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