First Impressions

Some things that may happen if you take your high-need toddler with you on the organised tour of the prestigious local primary school which you are hoping he will attend:

• in the staffroom during the boring adulty-talky bit, he will spot a pile of coasters and hand them out like biscuits to other bewildered parents (who, brilliantly, haven't brought along their offspring) and an amused deputy head.


• when Mummy decides it's going to be all too much to let him run wild and deposits him in a sling in a quiet classroom, he will shout "OSH! OSH!" all through the next boring-talky bit until I get him "off".


• he will attempt to steal dice from the first classroom we visit, the class teacher of which used to teach me.


• he will use every single opportunity to run away.


• he will squeeze through adult legs so that I can no longer see him.


• He will not be impressed or amused with a plum from the bottom of my bag, but instead will roll it around in sand and then eat it.


• he will paint all over children's drying paintings when you take your eye off him for ONE SECOND (ironically to express your concerns to the deputy head about how a "lively" child will fit into school life)


• he will shake up the little pots which are home to caterpillars that the class are hoping will be butterflies before long, unless you stop him in the nick of time!
• he will sit himself down in the empty dinner hall on the way out as if you never feed him, and stack empty cups, nodding forlornly when people ask him if he's hungry.

Well, I think he made an impression anyway.