April Showers

A tale from very early motherhood: 2nd night in.

Still in the hospital (luckily I had the ward to myself), heavily sleep deprived after a 3 day labor and sleepless 1st night, I was getting ready for bed. I had on lovely clean nightwear, crisp hospital sheets and a baby with a full tum, but a wet bum. Last change before we both try to get some sleep. Very new to the whole thing, a nappy change takes a long time, especially with such a delicate new baby. About half way through, sans old nappy and awaiting new one, he begins to wee. Weeeeeee! All over the floor. All over my pajamas (top, bottoms, socks and slippers). All over my bed. Not a measly drop on himself!

Thoroughly embarrassed at my stupidity (I had been warned of little boy's "waterfall" abilities), and immensely glad no one else was on the ward, I proceed a huge clean up operation that ate heavily into my sleeping time. I even changed my own sheets, feeling too silly to bother the staff and hunting out clean ones from a room down the hall. Gutted! He's four months now...I don't often get caught out these days, and if I do, I have the reactions of a cat!


Grown.

Hang up your heels, you're a mummy now.

This may be very wrong, but here is a list of things I am more excited about than clothes shopping:

My new extra-large-drum, silver, multi-program washing machine, which is currently being christened with dirty reusable nappies. (A few months down the line, here is a photograph of my boy also enjoying the cavernous space within the drum.)

Getting my Christmas present sewing machine out of the box and playing with it dreaming of lining the baby's curtains so he'll sleep better, or sewing little motifs onto his plain t-shirts.

Having a shower. And then, drying my hair!!

Buying dungarees for my Boy. I love dungers!

Mum and baby groups: cheaper than therapy for talking about your birth experiences/mother/mother-in-law troubles.

Yummy Mummy? Yeah right!

Grown.

Light Sleeper?

Question of the day:

Why is it that when we are out walking with the pram, an articulated lorry can pass us with inches to spare and my Boy will not stir, but at home, if I step on a creaky floorboard he's bright as a (screaming) button! Why?!

Grown.

Baby sick: I

So anyway, HID and Boy were having some daddy-boy time last Saturday morning, HID gave him his bottle and then decided to play with him. He was doing the thing that all dads insist on doing with tiny fragile babies, holding them suspended in the air and "throwing" them up and down. This is fine by me, I occasionally indulge myself as I can't resist the giggles it provokes.

But just after a feed? Hmmmm, this smacks of disaster, yes? Seemingly in time to save himself, HID goes "Whoops, better not,just after a feed!"

Apparently with the memory of a goldfish, two seconds later, he was doing it again, so I had no sympathy when Boy's tummy complained, then....

You guessed it, at least 2oz of sicked-up milk, right on target into HID's mouth.

"Ummm, I cu useth um help?" struggled HID, in a voice that only materializes when one has a mouthful of something unmentionable.

Obviously, as the perfect wife that I am, I am beside myself, helpless with laughter on the floor, not a chance he'd get anything from me. I even had to excuse myself from the room, as I don't have the same faith in my pelvic floor muscles as I once did!

Serves him right. Right?!

Grown.

Baby sick: I

Babies, especially mine, are sick a lot,and unlike some, I am no Olympic baby-sick-catcher. When you need as many changes of clothes as they do, it's a poor do. Which is why I have drafted a pros and cons list of baby-sick-down-the-bra syndrome....

CON: it is wastage of your hard-made/tediously prepared milk (this applies to sickages of all types)

CON: it was just safely contained within your boobs. It is now splashed all over them.

CON: it is horribly warm, perhaps even started to curdle....

PRO: it has warmed you up, who has time to nip upstairs for a jumper?

PRO: it has made baby smile, even if it is in a Denis-The-Menace I-so-did-that-on-purpose kind of way.

PRO: it is entirely contained in your bra, which means your top requires no washing!

CON: you will have to remove said top and bra to get to it, bra and self need washing....this will probably not happen for some time as baby didn't smile for long.....ewwwww.

mmmmm, baby sick.

Grown.